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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23861431">Broken souls</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johnale/pseuds/Johnale'>Johnale</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>After, Before, Episode: s12e02 Spyfall Part 2, Episode: s12e09 Ascension of the Cybermen, Gen, ten is just with rose trying to be happy ok</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:27:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,394</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23861431</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johnale/pseuds/Johnale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(set between s12e02 and s12e09)<br/>Full of grief, thirteenth Doctor feels like she needs to talk with someone. Accidentally, she finds her old self in St.James Park and stops for a talk.<br/>The story will probably have a few alternative endings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>tbh I felt like 13's feelings were so brushed off in the recent season!! So why don't have a multi Doctor fanfic....? If I'm this bored soon I'll post another chapter hehe</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The Doctor found herself in the midst of 21st century London. It smelled like early 2020. The streets were still crowded. If she was lucky, it was probably the same date when she’d dropped off her friends in Sheffield. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’d always preferred London to Sheffield and the TARDIS always seemed to take her there. She could be anywhere: Warsaw, Peru or Los Angeles! But the old London always felt familiar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’d just visited Gallifrey and instead of jumping in time to take her friends on another adventure, she’d travelled to London. She’d felt that she needed to think. Didn’t want her friends seeing her in such a state. Her zaniness around them kept her together. After all that long life she’d go crazy without any distraction and dissembling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why was she going through this again? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The question  made her come to a halt. She realised, beffudled, that she’d just entered St James Park.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Last time she’d gone through a similar situation she’d been full of guilt. Now, it wasn’t much different. She felt that she was responsible for Gallifrey’s destruction. The Master was her burden and she should’ve stopped him as she always did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But… thousands of years ago there was Rose beside her. Nowadays, she couldn’t confide in her companions and that was something she couldn’t quite get the hang of. Her new body was so awkward. Also, did she want to share this painful part of her life with her friends? Maybe it really was better for them to be unaware about her past. Rassilon knows what her previous companions had felt when she’d told them about all the terrible things regarding the Time War. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or maybe she was just making excuses? What if she met the Master on her next trip? Or he did something to one of her friends? Why couldn’t she rewrite Gallifrey’s history? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was breaking apart. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until she’d spotted a brown-haired man sitting on a bench. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wavered and bit her lip. What if she confided in the one person that wouldn’t feel overwhelmed with her problems…?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man gazed at the lake and didn’t seem to notice her when she took a seat next to him. He was clearly deep in his thoughts and seemed to be just… sad. Sad and pensive, that’s how the random commuter would describe him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rose? Are you back so fast?” he asked with a glimpse of a smile. But when he turned to the woman he was caught off-guard. He jumped in his seat and frowned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m really sorry. I saw blonde hair and thought it was my friend. Really thick of me, sorry.” He struggled helplessly with an explanation but the Doctor just chuckled and gave him her hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No worries! I’m Sarah, by the way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sarah… Huh, I’m the Doctor.” He shook her hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doctor who?” She couldn’t help herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just the Doctor.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was she always like that? Where’s the fun?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what are you doing here, sitting on your own and looking at this lake like you could see Nessie?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, I've seen the Loch Ness monster, but it wasn’t as terrifying as people claim,” he said with a smirk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m waiting for my friend, who I mistook you for. She’s gone to this one coffee shop ‘round the corner. Said she was curious if they were still open in 2020. I mean, she just hasn’t been there for ages. Good that we’ve come before all that pandemic stuff. I mean… You people probably seem to know what’s about to start, riiiight?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Don’t like 2020. But why aren’t you accompanying her?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t quite remember this exact moment in her timeline. When you live so long some memories start to blur, doesn’t matter how much you try to remember them all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just wanted a moment. To think, I guess.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, so you… might be worried about something then? The Doctor tried to sound as chipper and casual as she could. It was hard to ask him such a question so openly, she hadn’t done anything like that in a long while. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Doctor nodded reluctantly. Even if he was short in words he wasn’t dismissive of her. Maybe he needed a good talk too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I reckon you have something on your mind too, if you came up here to me, to talk with a total stranger.” The younger Doctor beamed in his wistful manner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She noticed how condescending that sounded. He probably didn’t even intend that! Some things really change when you aren’t a bloke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Had she always been so straightforward towards strangers? Maybe so… If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t have invited so many people to travel with her. Point taken.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… in a hard spot right now” she started, glancing at the man that was looking at her with all his attention. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to worry my friends with my problems. And they’re making me feel worse and worse. The problems I mean. Not my friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to tell me about your problems or friends specifically, if that makes you uncomfortable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, that’s okay. I can tell you that my friend, oh… My other friend…” uh, what had she intended to say to him?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...has done something terrible. And I feel truly awful because I could’ve stopped him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The tenth Doctor grimaced with sympathy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t do this to yourself, Sarah. Blame is the worst feeling you can inflict on yourself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His calm, brown eyes looked deeply concerned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh. It must have been not so long for him since the Time War. The war that’d changed them so much. It was clear that this man didn’t want that to happen to anyone else. Little did he know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That thing. It was your friend’s fault. I don’t tell you to forget that it has ever happened- no, remembering is taking steps towards acceptance. It just may take some time but it’ll get better. I really hope.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He almost muttered the last sentence as if he was telling it himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She realised she couldn’t go on with this conversion for much longer. She wished that she could let herself despair over the destruction of her kind. Something that her previous self could understand so well. But that’d be too much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had to brighten the mood for her previous self. They were good at pretending to be alright. And as he’d said- they would eventually be okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know what? I actually believe you! And I hope you take care of yourself too, stranger.” She exclaimed and bestowed him an enthusiastic grin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He responded with the same smile and opened his mouth to say something but the Doctor cut in first:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Rose is coming back, I think I should get going then. I won’t take more of your time, it was nice to—“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, how do you know what Rose looks like?”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Ending 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Wait, how do you know what Rose looks like?”</p><p>The Doctor froze. The man in a overcoat warily fixed her with his eyes. She’d already stood up and was ready to get back to her TARDIS. She could spot Rose approaching them from 20 meters away. The girl appeared to be upset about something. Likely, the coffee shop really must’ve closed. Although, her bad mood didn’t last for much longer - as soon she saw her Doctor her whole face lit up. </p><p>Was this my life once? The Doctor pondered and fixed her attention again on the man. </p><p>“Well. It’s the only blonde that’s going our way and looking as chipper as if she’s just seen a wonder.” </p><p>“Ah.” The younger Doctor blushed and tried to apologise. </p><p>“You don’t have to apologise, don’t worry!” The Doctor laughed and waved at him. “I really better get going. Say hello to Rose from me.” </p><p>Before he could say anything she wandered off, and disappeared in a mass of people. She only glanced behind once, when she passed a couple of eccentric men (one had white hair and the latter was ginger). </p><p>The Doctor and Rose had an enthusiastic conversation. Both seemed to radiate positive energy and the Doctor with his big smile and sparks in eyes that shone when he looked at his friend, could almost appear to be a different person.</p><p> </p><p>She smiled wistfully and turned back. It was her time to see her friends and be true about herself.</p>
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